Grunkle Stan Meets
by MiscellaneousSoup
Summary: Short vignettes of Grunkle Stan meeting characters from other fictional stories with no rhyme or reason! We start off with a resurrected tale from my past. If you think that my stories are weird now, you should see what I rejected! And you will! Read and review, if you please and have an excellent day!
1. Batman!

**A/N: I have a trip to go on and story-planning for my multi-chapter fanfictions (Joker And Harley, Jessica Milikan, My Mystery)! With all of these and other things, I might not be able to post stories as often! Therefore, here's the start of something that I may work on as a substitute until I can post more of my usual weirdness. Grunkle Stan will meet various fictional characters. Essentially, this is an excuse to write some ideas that I've had, just without the proper way to have the universes combine or something. Just enjoy!**

**Also, this was originally an idea for a different series months ago. It never worked out, so why not reuse it for this? I still like it and I think people might like it.**

**Grunkle Stan Meets…**

**Chapter One: Batman**

"AAHHHHHHH!" Grunkle Stan sped toward the ground, having just been forcibly thrown from a jumbo jet. The pilot's assistant checked to make sure that some airport attendants could catch him, then gave the pilot a thumb's up. A red and blue blur quickly caught Grunkle Stan, then placed him onto a flimsy-looking trampoline. I guess Superman doesn't stay out of Gotham. He then flew away, never to be seen again, unless he suddenly becomes important to the story.

Grunkle Stan shook his fist at the sky as he extricated himself from the trampoline. "Lousy, free-loading sky-hoggers! You try to take one extra bag of airplane peanuts, and they kick you out! I'm here on official business for some newspaper! Hey, where's my luggage?" At that moment, a shredded, moldy briefcase bashed him on the skull, fulfilling the dual purposes of making him see pretty yellow canaries and cutting off his exposition. Cue the theme song.

_(Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Stan; Steals whatever he thinks he can; Spin a lie at any time;Hide your valuables, it's Grunkle Stan!) A cartoon image of Grunkle Stan's wax head pops up, flips his eyepatch to another eye, and says, "That's Stan!" **_

_Written By: MiscellaneousSoup_

_Animated By: MiscellaneousSoup_

_Produced By: MiscellaneousSoup_

_Directed By: MiscellaneousSoup_

_Starring Alex Hirsch as Grunkle Stan_

_Jimmy Fallon as Batman_

_Stephen Colbert as Lemony Narrator_

_Mark Hamill as the Joker_

_Co-Starring Some Hobo as Boe, Hairy, and Burly_

_Arleen Sorkin as Harley Quinn_

_And Starring…Bob Odenkirk as Wax Stan_

_**Theme Song: Subject to change at the author's whim, whether from laziness or what's funny at the moment._

Grumbling, Stan shambled around his temporary hometown. "Wow, this place is a dump!" He groused. Nearby, three criminals were beating a homeless man to death. "Such people! I should probably do something…Hey, a television studio! Old man powers, prepare to be activated!"

As he jauntily strode inside the studio, he noticed that several people were tied up, with miniature time bombs strapped to their feet. They motioned for him to free them. "Wow, these people are good method actors!" Grunkle Stan motioned to one of them. "You're doing a great job! Hey, ya know where I can find a network executive? I have a great idea for a show! So, there's this dog, and he's dead-"

A nearby door slammed open, cutting off Stan's disturbing idea for a kid's sitcom. A strange man with vibrant green hair, chalk-white skin, and a distinguished purple business suit stepped out. Next to him stood a woman in a red and black jester's suit, along with three gangsters. They were all carrying various amounts of lethal weaponry. What fun.

"Batman!" The man in white yelled. "That disguise is horrible! I expect more from you in our little tête-à-têtes! You look like a hideous old man!"

Grunkle Stan looked at the man in disbelief. "Bat-who? I'm Stanford Pines, business owner extraordinaire, master of mysticism, and all-around best guy in my hometown! You must be some network guy! You got three goonish-looking guys who remind me of old-timey comedians, and some lady dressed up like a checkerboard!"

The woman pulled a nasty-looking hammer from out of nowhere. "Watch what you say about my puddin'! Mistah J is the best guy in the world!"

Burly, the third goon, looked at the first. "Hey, what's he talkin' about, Boe? N'yerk, n'yerk, n'yerk!" The first goon slapped him. Hairy, the third thug, giggled, earning him a poke in the eye.

The man who appeared to be Mistah J stared at his subordinates with a look of fury. "Please…let me talk." The goons quaked with fear, but the woman wielding the hammer stared at him with a nauseatingly-sweet smile. He turned back to Grunkle Stan, and started to pace around the room, humoring what he thought was Batman.

"I…am what you might call an agent of chaos. My chaos. I may have had scars at one point, but my life changes with every incarnation of myself that people think of. I spread rumors, you see. I am the laugh that follows you into your dreams…I am the spirit of insanity, spreading my special brand of humor all across this nightmarish town…I am-"

Batman burst through the door with a single kick, disarmed Harley, Boe, Burley, and Hairy with three Batarangs, destroyed the explosives, and disarmed all eleven of the hostages. All of this was done in precisely 13.5 seconds. Why? Because he's Batman. Quickly, the hostages scurried out like rats in a maze, eager for freedom.

"Batman!" the Joker growled. "In that case, I truly have been talking to an old man! That wasn't funny!" He ran at Batman with an clown knife, but was stopped by yet another Batarang. Batman tied the Joker up with a rope from his utility belt, and glared at Grunkle Stan.

"Hey." Grunkle Stan said. "You're a great acrobat! Have you ever thought about doing carnival tricks? Dipper and Mabel would love to see you! You can perform at my store."

"Stop." Batman intoned.

Grunkle Stan blinked. "Hey, what's wrong with your voice? People say I'm raspy, you sound like a woodchipper! Want some Stan-Brand "Throat Chapstick?" They really work! No money back if you get a horrible disease, though."

Batman shoved him against a wall. "You're new here." It wasn't a question. "Be careful, and stay out of my way." And with that, he vanished. A faint shadow could be seen outside, throwing a grappling hook at a building.

Grunkle Stan paused for a second, then resumed his search for the network executives. "Nice guy. Odd clothes, but still nice. I've got to tell Mabel and Dipper about him."

THE END


	2. Maximum Ride!

**A/N: The second installment! You like Maximum Ride? Good!**

**Grunkle Stan Meets: Chapter 2**

**Maximum Ride!**

**Written by MiscellaneousSoup**

**Suggested by Isabelle**

Inside the Mystery Shack, Grunkle Stan stood on the couch, trying to use the television remote to knock away a spider. Sighing, he decided to do the smart option. "DIPPER! There's a spider in the living room! Kill it."

Soos walked in, holding a bucket and a sponge. "Sorry, Stan, but he's not here. I heard him talking about some kind of bunker."

Stan yawned. "In that case, Soos, I need you to kill the spider."

Soos threw his sponge at the ceiling, causing the spider to fall down. Gently, he brushed it out of the shack. "Fastest sponge in the west, boss! I'm going to go find Dipper in case you need anything else."

Stan yawned. "Yeah, you do that. Kid needs to toughen up, and this house is a pigsty. I can't imagine anything that would make it worse."

Almost immediately after he said that, something crashing through the wall, causing half of the roof to crumble. Seven figures immediately popped up from the rubble, one wagging its tail.

Grunkle Stan waved. "Hi! You look pretty weird, want to be attractions in my Shack?"

Max knocked Grunkle Stan unconscious. "Everybody, run! The Erasers could be here at any moment! Total, stop eating the food!"

Total grinned. "I'm a growing dog."

Grunkle Stan groaned. Gazzy started rummaging through his pockets and squealed at the copious amounts of smoke bombs. Max gave him a reproachful look and dragged him away.

_Five minutes later…_

Dipper and Mabel happily walked into the Shack, hardly noticing the ruined ceiling and debris. "So, how long do you think the freezing system will last? I don't want the shapeshifter returning."

Grunkle Stan woke up, brushing away some drool. "Oh, there you are. Dipper, the roof's broken, I need you to fix it."

A grey, furry beast crashed through the window. "Where is Maximum Ride?" As he spoke, a black hole slowly appeared underneath him until it swallowed him whole, leaving the confused Pines family with only a final yelp of terror.

Bill Cipher popped up. "Sorry about that. My teleportation ray got a little out of hand. I'll be going now. See you in the future! Also, fix the roof, Dipper."

Mabel grabbed a top hat and cane. "Da-da-da-da-da-, na na na na na na na!"

More of the roof collapsed, forming a series of rings to appear above them. Bill Cipher flashed a series of images, the last of which read "THAT'S ALL, FOLKS!"

**Uh...THE END? WHO WRITES THIS STUFF? A baby?**


End file.
